I can mindlessly pack away an extra couple thousand calories a day this way and not even notice.ģ. So any time I’m feeling peckish or I’m just bored and need something to do, I have something within arms reach. Cookies, chips, poptarts, pastries, hand pies, you name it. When I shop and get a bunch of snacks, I just leave the grocery bag next to where I sit on my couch. I know that that’s a no-brainer but it really does make a difference if you’re cooking a lot at home.Ģ. This may seem obvious but also consider alternative ingredients and increasing quantity of ingredients, for example swapping milk or water with heavy cream, adding double the butter that’s called for, etc. Replace everything you can with the higher calorie version. I'm almost drooling, dizzy at the thought of having earned my prize, and I know just how nice and full I'm about to be.ġ. We're down to the dredges of the bottle, and I open my mouth for you to empty that last bit down my throat. I think of that surprise now, when the tip of the toy pokes at the underside of my belly. The thing almost eclipses my view of your strap entirely. I had never considered myself much of a social drinker or a party person before we met, so imagine my surprise at looking myself in the mirror and realizing I've got a bonafide beer gut nowadays, sitting pretty over the waistband of my jeans. You've got the mouth of the last bottle from the 4-pack pressed against my lips, and I'm not getting fucked until I've drank every last drop.ĭid you know that each of those bottles has a cool 200 calories? I try not to think too hard about numbers, but I have to stifle a moan and keep sipping when I consider that I've downed nearly 700 calories from just this little vice of mine today alone. You won't let me put it inside yet, though, no matter how needy I get. I'm tipsy, stuffed to my absolute limit, and grinding on the base of your strap as desperately as you've ever seen me.

Anytime a portion is too big or too decadent for someone, the plate gets pushed in front of me and I'm putting it in my mouth before I even think about whether or not I'm still hungry, especially if I've had something to drink. I'm doing that all the time now, like I'm the official garbage disposal of the friend group. My belly has hardly any give to it, packed with my favorite indulgences from the convenience store: a 12-inch sub, mac n' cheese, all of those chocolates and pre-packaged pastries topped off with a cheesecake frappe.īefore we'd even left for the store, I had gulped down a few bottles of my favorite cider and finished off a friend's when they didn't want to. By this point, my cheeks are flushed, and I'm panting like this is the most exercise I've gotten in months - knowing me, it probably is.

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